Reverse Missionary Position

When we went to Guatemala in the past we would bring crates of medications because we couldn't get them there. Now, thanks to the FDA and CMS and Obamas war on "evil drug corporations" we have daily email alerts of what medications are in short supply or back order at all the medical centers our group covers. Important things like amirodorone and lidocaine drips for your heart attack, phenergan, reglan and zofran for nausea, narcan, ativan, fentynl and propofol. Pretty much everything used for anesthesia. The good thing is that we can get all of these in Guatamala! So now, instead of medical missionary teams bringing life saving medications to Guatamala, we are bringing them back!

Bariatric toilets

I hate board meetings but every now and then there is something in one that makes you wonder. The medical center has been having two new problems. The first is that the toilets are only rated to 450 pounds. Apparently, this is not enough as many are breaking due to patients exceeding the load carrying ability. The second is that a family member of a patient who is over 500 pounds not only broke the toilet but got his leg stuck between the remaining porcelain and the wall. He of course has lawyered up and filed an intent to sue. So, at the board meeting we have to find a way to rebuild all the toilets in the center not to mention find a way to cut somewhere to pay for them. In my usual not helpful way I asked just how they were going to identify which toilets were up to the task. After many suggestions and interesting door micrograms the medical center attorneys said we should just call them bariatric toilets.