I was in my usual state of disbelief last night on rounds. Why is it so hard to get a pair of surture removal scissors or a staple remover? Why can you always find the hemocult cards but never the developer? It seems that to make it through rounds I end up hoarding all these things so that once I find them I can put them in my pocket so I dont have to hunt them down for the next patient. Then I got an idea. I love my little Leatherman multitool! It has got me through camping trips, military deployments, and car break downs. Why cant we come up with one for medicine? Kind of a swiss army knife for docs.
Then I started thinking about what it should have. It needs suture removal scissors and staple removers of course, but what else? Flashlight, stethascope, #3 mac blade, hemostat, 16 guage needle for those darned popped lungs, could add one of those portable US things, oh, something to remember all those darned EMR passwords that change every few days at all the hospitals we have to cover, nurse GPS locator, food finder, hemocult developer, gloves, culture swab, IV pump shut upper, bandage swabs, cast cutter and above all bad odor eliminator.
The device would have to be disposable of course and I would have to get it JACHO mandated. Oh, wait a minute. They would keep them locked up in the Suremed and you would still have to find a nurse and get the patients number to get the thing out anyway.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
Ha ha! This is a really funny post!
It's all funny but this cracked me up "nurse GPS locator"
When you walk in ..you could always drop a tiny little remote tracker in her pocket that will feed info to your remote. ;)
"food finder" Ha! I've always thought medical staff had built in food finder homing devices that activate once they cross through the work place doors. Actually in a hospital ....from the bowels of the hospital ..crossing through floors .. tray of cookies .. chips ..whatever ..it will be honed in on. :)
Do you remember when nurses or anyone could get supplies out and you didn't need patient numbers for access or keys? You could actually in short order get what you needed or have a someone else get it. Shoot I remember when there wasn't any triage and they were just starting to use gloves for bleeding patients. Seems surreal to think about now ..that they got blood on their hands and just washed. Obviously triage and gloves a good thing ..but patient number slows things down when you need fast access.
Portable US? ha! that would be one heck of SAK4Ds.
Your SAK4Ds sounds like something a medical superhero would whip out. Seeing it in my head now ..out of nowhere ...superhero doc drops down "I'll save the d-a-y-y-y with my SAK4Ds-s-s-s!" and proceeds to snap it into action for the crisis at hand. ;)
Thanks for the laugh! :)
Post a Comment