Wednesday, November 30, 2011

The Otis Effect

We had to cancel our study of the Otis effect early because the data reached such a statistical preponderance so early. We found the following things to be true. The elevator that is the farthest from you will always be the one to open the doors. the time that the doors are open is exactly 2 seconds less than the time it takes to get to the elevator. This is especially true in the middle of the night when there is not anyone else on the elevators. When you get in the elevator and have to be somewhere in a hurry, all the floor buttons between you and your destination will be pressed. This effect is enhanced when your destination is the parking lot to go home. If your arms are full, however, the only button not pressed will be the one that you need pressed. Further, when you ask for help, someone will press the wrong button. Flatulence is immune to the ventilation effect of any elevator fan. Lastly, the person who wants to get off first will always be the one farthest back.


SnowLite said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
SeaSpray said...

And yet they make the elevator experience look like so much fun on Grey's Anatomy. :)

Well unless you ...a surgical resident, known as 007 (because you killed a patient)have to crack a chest and massage a heart, etc, on critical patient OR bound and then the power goes out and elevator is stuck in between floors. I imagine that is the *beyond the extreme Otis effect* experience. ;)

hapar numela said...

We are an immature bunch for the most part. It turns out that with Xrays of the male pelvis or hip region that the penis can often be seen hanging left or right. Legend, not research, tells that the side the penis points to is the side of the fracture or 'lesion' as we say.