Dragonese

With many of the EMRs, docs are using Dragon software to dictate.  Dragon is amazing but you "have to train your Dragon" and some dragons are not well trained.  On top of it, there is now pressure to have  a complete note for the patient to have when they check out, as this is another one of those "mandates".  The result is that the note is made entirely of macros with a small Dragon dictated blurb at the bottom that you don't have time to proofread.  As you can imagine, the notes are not very useful but can be quite funny.  Some of my favorites are " the incision was opulent", (instead of purulent), "the patient was singularly pathetic", (the patient was on singular and patanase).  The best is when someone is dictating and then answers the phone, so the Dragon starts typing what he said on the phone. I had one note that ended, "fine, love you too!"