Saturday, July 26, 2008

Up one, down two

July is almost over, so far the new interns are doing well. We have had a few moments but overall they are learning. Going on rounds looks like Mama duck with all her little ducks winding from one room to another. You can tell how far along someone is in residency by how little is in their pockets. The interns all have lab coats stuffed to the brims with Wash manuals and poket pharmapedias. The senior residents are in scrubs with a sweatshirt. All have coffee or diet colas.

As we round we try to teach the residents the important things, like you take the stairs to go up one flight or down two. Keep your wallet in the inside pocket of your scrubs. Wounds heal side to side, not end to end. Dyspareunia is better than no pareunia. You can always find hemeacult cards but never the reagent. Surgical caps hide bad hair days. There are always bullion cubes and crackers to eat. Never try to drink Jevity. Ward clerks save you butt, charge nurses are there to make you miserable. Crying and complaining mean that the patient is oxygenating. Patients bleed whole blood not packed red cells. Patients dont die of pain, they die of too much pain medication. If you decide to send the stool specimen to the lab through the tube system, make sure the lid is screwed on really, really good! Patients with no arms or legs can still pull out their feeding tubes.

There are many more, but its a 5 to 6 year residency.

2 comments:

SeaSpray said...

Wow! 5 or 6 years on top of med school and residency (do I have that right and then you move on to specialize?) You surgeons certainly pay your dues. That's a lot of hard work and sacrifice.

When you say "Patients dont die of pain, they die of too much pain medication." I am assuming here you mean the residents order the wrong dosage/type?

That's scary!

If I follow through with the urology surgery...i guess I had better be sure to go in during winter or early spring.

OH...btw... you said "Dyspareunia is better than no pareunia. " Um..no..maybe for the guy.

This current ureteral stent could be used for abstinence birth control. I can't even think about Bajingoland recreation without getting bladder spasms..never mind actually indulge! :)

Thinking about doing a funny post about it but not sure if a bit much.

Charles Runels said...

There's a new treatment for dyspareunia to cause stem cells to generate new healthy tissue. The procedure is called o-shot which has been very effective with my patients.
More can be seen at OShot.info and http://yourfemalebody.com/dyspareunia
Hope this helps.
Charles Runels, MD