Pop tops and blow holes for Dummies

I think I am going to have to call the publishers of those "Dummies" books to see if they would consider a series on medical issues.  There are already tons of books about caring for cancer, "what to expect when you are expecting", and dealing with grief but I think the post-trauma market is untapped.  Especially for the "I took Vodka and Molly and then drove my car into the overpass" crowd.  There could be Dummies books for "pop tops" (PEG tubes) which if you are going to shot gun beer into them let it go flat otherwise, the top pops and you spray all over.  "Blow holes for Dummies" (what little cigars fit into the trache tube), "Keg taps for dummies" (suprapubic catheters), and last but not least "Bung holes for Dummies" for the colostomy bags.  Hey, you know how they have those anti smoking commercials with the people who lost their voice box and legs and stuff on TV.  Maybe they could have some that say "I'm cool, I joined a gang and now I have a pop top, blow hole, a keg tap and this great bung hole!